Are You Happy Now?
by Shadow Wraith
Summary: -A songfic- Kikyou's fake body is failing her, and the time has come for Inuasha to choose if he will stay alive, with Kagome, or join Kikyou in hell. Who will he choose? What will happen? Rated for Inuyasha's mouth, please R&R!
1. Are You Happy Now?

The music team at my church sang this song for the sermon today (actually it's more like Yanci McGregor sang it, she's awesome…the video with it was great, the media team rocks! Yeah!) because our pastor has been doing a series on lust, yeah, I know, gasp, shock, and horrors; they've had parental warnings posted outside of the worship center for the past three weeks! Anyways, I was inspired, and lo, here I am trying another sorry attempt at a fic, so I might as well get on with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha (although I wish I did because the Wrath O' the 'Sit' would be a great stress relief tool…) nor Michelle Branch nor her wonderful song 'Are You Happy Now', that's all I have to say.

Are You Happy Now?

The sky was gray and dismal. A cold autumn breeze wound its way through the still forest, blowing dead leaves about the ground and knocking the naked branches of the trees against one another. Sounds echoed from everywhere, almost like the rattling of bones.

And there they were, again, beneath the Goshinboku; the two who had both loved and betrayed one another. 

One was full of guilt, confused within his own thoughts; an internal battle raged between mind and heart. It was his fault that she had died; if he had had more trust in her, then she would not have become this way. And it was his fault that she was resurrected. He had said her name and called her back to the land of the living.

The other was a cold and distant figure, the epitome of what one of the dead should look like, emotionless; nothing more than remnants of a broken and bitter soul. The only things that kept her 'alive' were her anger and hatred, and the dead souls that her shinidama-chuu stole for her. The miko's fake body of dirt and ash was now beginning to expire, and the moment that she had so long awaited was coming. She would not be able to rest in peace until Inuyasha was dragged down to the depths of hell with her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Now, don't just walk away

Pretending everything's okay

And you don't care about me…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A girl of sixteen silently watched them from several yards away, hiding behind bushes and shrubs of the forest. She tried to hold back her rebellious tears, waiting for the inevitable to happen. The completed Shikon no Tama hung around her neck.

Kagome prayed that he would say no, that he would stay with her, alive. But his blank face didn't give the makeshift miko much hope. She clutched at the tree she was leaning against, her face pressed into its bark, squeezing her despair into her now splintered hands. She was trying as best she could to keep from bursting out in uncontrollable sobs. She'd healed his heart from all the suffering he had been through in his life, one day, one painful memory at a time.

And now, this was what it all came to.

'Don't…Oh please don't do it…Inuyasha…'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And I know it's just no use

When all your lies become your truths

And I don't care…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hell. 

That's where he was going to be in just a few short minutes, hell. That is, if he didn't refuse.

'Refuse? Why would I refuse to go with her? That's what I want, isn't it? Why does the thought of it suddenly make so…Nervous? Angry? Sad?' he couldn't put his finger on the right emotion.

'You've already been through as much hell as is possible in the living world, what's your rush to go to the real thing?' that one, small part of Inuyasha's brain rebelliously questioned.

The real hell…She had almost been dragged there. All those months back, when she was trying to save the soul of that little girl who had become a poltergeist. And he hadn't been able to do shit about it when she was practically in the next realm, in hell. All those months ago, after she had released him from his fifty year sleep, for which the woman in front of him was to be held accountable for. In fact, it was the very tree they were standing beneath that he was pinned to, the Goshinboku. And Kagome had released him.

He could tell that she was nearby, over to his right, watching them. She was keeping incredibly silent, for a human at least, but he could smell her salty tears of despair.

His gaze was subconsciously turning towards her, staring directly where she was. He could hear her small shuddered breaths, still trying to feebly stop the flow of tears. Oh Kami, how he hated it when she cried…

Inuyasha blinked, snapping himself out of his thoughts, though his head didn't turn back towards Kikyou. Why was he thinking about Kagome at a time like this?

'Once again, what's your rush to get there?' his mind asked.

'It's my fault, I'm directly responsible for her death. If I had believed in her more, if I hadn't been so suspicious of her, this wouldn't have happened. We were in love…'

'I believe that 'were' would be the key word in that sentence-'

'Are! Are in love!'

'And that's why you feel so empty and sad around her?'

'I do not!' his brain snapped.

'Liar.' 

'No I'm not! We _are_ in love, and that is not how you feel when you are around someone you care for in that way.'

'So you call her being filled with undying hatred for you and for what transpired fifty years ago love? And let's not forget the minor fact that she is currently trying to drag you down to underworld…'

'I love her, and she loves me. Nothing can ever change that,' his brain stated with decisive finality.

'Not even Kagome?'

'…'

'Well?'

'…She's just a friend…'

'Right, so that's why you were crying like a pansy when you thought she was dead…'

'First of all, I thought that Sango and Miroku were dead too; second, I was crying because I was so happy that they were _alive_.'

'... And I recollect you holding Kagome at that time and saying how sorry you were that you had failed and couldn't protect her, with tears in your eyes I might add…'

'She's my closest friend! And I had told her that I would protect her! And, as I said before, I cried because I was so happy that they were all alive!'

'Which Kikyou is not…'

'Fuck off!'

'Getting kinda touchy there, aren't we?'

'Shut the hell up!'

'She's dead, moron! Get over it and accept the fact that you care for someone who's alive!'

'Dammit, I love Kikyou and Kikyou alone! We could have been happy…' 

But Kikyou had wanted to turn him human, change him, take away what made up what he was. Almost like she was embarrassed to be in love with a hanyou, ashamed of her feelings for someone that wasn't completely human. Embarrassed? Ashamed? How could anybody love someone if they were ashamed of what that person was? Kagome wasn't ashamed of him, she had always told him to be proud of his heritage, both his human and youkai blood. Which he had always translated into 'Rub it into a full-blooded youkai's face that they're getting their ass kicked by a half-breed' but that's not what she truly meant: that she liked him for who, and what, he was.

He mentally kicked himself. How the hell did she creep back into his thoughts? He needed to concentrate on the situation at hand.

'Anyways, the point is that I'm the direct cause of her death. I deserve this. Yes, that's it. It's completely my fault, that's why I'm going to hell with Kikyou…'

'It sounds more like you are trying to convince yourself.'

'Shut up! I'm the reason that all this occurred, there's no one to blame besides me. It's a commitment, that's what love is, a commitment.'

"Kikyou broke that commitment when she shot you strait though the heart! Therefore, you don't owe her a thing. She never trusted you in the first place; love without trust is no love at all. And you never fully trusted her either, so you cannot truthfully say that you ever loved one another. It was merely an infatuation; she was the first person who could relate to your plight, she knew what it was like to be an outcast because of her position as the guardian of that stupid jewel! If it was love, you wouldn't have been so quick to turn on one another!'

'I don't trust anybody, that doesn't mean that I can't love someone!'

'You trust Kagome.'

'…Th-that doesn't matter, it's completely beside the point...'

'Which would be what? That you're a stubborn ass hole with shit for brains?'

'That the entire ordeal was my own fault, I was too suspicious of her…'

But Kagome didn't think that. She said that even if he had had more faith in the dead priestess, she still would have died. He hadn't attacked her in any way; all that he did was try to steal the jewel from the village after 'Kikyou' had shot at him with her arrows. She was a victim of her own suspicions, caught up in her fears, and the same went for him; there wasn't anything he could have done.

That's what he told himself at night, when he felt the most alone, the most guilty, when the memories of his past haunted his nightmarish dreams. That's the lie he had continually fed himself to keep his shame at bay. The lie that Kagome had told him so many times…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Could you look me in the eye 

And tell me that you're happy now?

Come on, tell it to my face

Or have I been erased?

Are you happy now?

Are you happy now?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The dead priestess watched Inuyasha's face as he tried to make a decision; first it was blank, as emotionless and cold as her own, then sad, he blinked, irritated for a while, replaced by confusion. Anger, remorse, grim remembrance, then confusion once again settled into his amber eyes. But he didn't look at her once the entire time, instead he was looking at something to her left side, something past the clearing they stood in. Intensely staring, as though the answer would appear out of the forest greenery, he never uttered a word to her, and his eyes never left that spot. 

'What could he possibly be staring at?' she glanced over but saw nothing but bushes and trees, 'And what's so hard about his decision? It's _me_ that he wants to be with, not that reincarnation, that _copy_ of me,' she thought disdainfully, 'After all, she's just a mere slip of a girl, she can barely even control her powers, let alone use them to their full extent. I'm better than she could ever dream to become.'

But why wasn't he saying anything?

Maybe she should make the first move…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You took all there was to take

And left me with an empty plate

And you don't care about it...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tears were now streaming down Kagome's cheeks freely; her face was still pressed into the tree.

So it was all for naught, every time he let a piece of his mysterious, painful past show through, every instance when he had saved her from certain death, or even when he was the one that needed saving, every bit of kindness she poured into their friendship, it was all a bunch of nothing.

Maybe it was even more than a friendship. She certainly thought of him as much more than a friend, she'd admitted to herself months before that she was in love with Inuyasha; she thought that he even had feelings for her, even though he wouldn't say it out loud. She was definitely more than just a 'shard detector' to him.

But then he would always return to Kikyou, the one that had loved him first, fifty years ago, the one who had betrayed him and pinned him to the Goshinboku, the woman of the living dead who had sworn to kill him, who was standing there this very second, trying to drag him down to the depths of hell.

That's right, he would always return to her, and Kagome was left to fade silently into the shadowy background, forgotten...

She looked up through her tears in time to see Kikyou call out the hanyou's name.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And I, I've given up this game 

I'm leaving you with all the blame

'Cause I don't care… 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The lie that it wasn't his fault…But it was! It had to be! There was no other reason that would explain it! The blame could only be centered on him…

Kagome must have lied…

But Kagome never lied to him, she always told him the truth…

'Why do all my thoughts return to her? I should be thinking about Kikyou, and of what I'm about to do!'

'She's not even the same person she was fifty years ago! She's now full of bitterness and jealousy!'

'Jealousy? What reason could she possibly have for being jealous?'

'Don't tell me you are truly that igno-'

"Inuyasha?"

He looked to the deceased miko, her hand was held aloft, reaching out for him. Her pale skin was starting to glow, the dead souls begging to break free of the hell bound woman. The endless abyss of her empty black eyes was hypnotizing, a light of triumphant satisfaction spread across her features.

He stared at her outstretched arm for a moment, completely struck dumb at what was happening. He had been so engulfed in his thoughts that he had completely forgotten his current surroundings. He now recognized that the time had come.

'There is only one thing that happened on that day that you are to be held accountable for and that is your own actions! Not hers! She could have easily gone back to the village and received medical attention instead of pursuing you!'

No response.

'Think about what you're doing!'

'I have, this is something I must do,' Inuyasha determinedly gazed at her, through her, falling into an almost trance-like state, now he saw nothing, felt nothing. He numbly lifted his hand to grab hers, to permanently leave this world. He was no longer in control. Her spell was already sucking the soul out of him, taking away consciousness. All he needed to do was make contact, and it would be complete, finished. They would descend to the underworld together, just as it was meant to be.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Could you look me in the eye 

And tell me that you're happy now?

Would you tell it to my face

Or have I been erased?

Are you happy now?

Are you happy now?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'Come on, Inuyasha, just a bit more,'

Kikyou nearly had her revenge, and her proof that it was truly his fault. She could just feel the guilt that was slowly eating him up from the inside. This act of self-sacrifice would convince her once and for all that he was the cause of all her misery, and that _she_ was the one that he truly loved; not _that girl_. She couldn't even bring herself to think the name of her hated future incarnate.

'Just a little bit more, Inuyasha. Just a little but further, and then I can rest in peace.'

Dark, twisting chains materialized around the two as the ground beneath them began to crack.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Do you really have everything you want? 

You could never give me something that you ain't got…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kagome watched as Inuyasha extended his hand, almost like he was being controlled, that his body was not his own, like he was a living puppet. His blank, nearly dead eyes stared straight ahead, not seeing a thing.

She remembered back to the day she had seen him with Kikyou, when the miko had declared that his life was hers, and that she was the only one that could take it from him. That was the day Kagome had first realized that she had fallen in love with him.

And now it seemed that the dead priestess was right, for that was what she was doing at that very moment: killing him, murdering him.

Then there were chains, shackles of sickly black, pulling at them, disappearing into the ground; fissures spread outward in the soil they stood upon.

His glossy, ambry-gold eyes slowly shut as an endless sleep fell upon him.

Kagome wanted to scream for him to stop, to snap out of it.

But all that could come out was a choked sob, "Inu...yasha…"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You can't run away from yourself… 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Then a sound reached Inuyasha's ears, breaking through the barriers Kikyou had so carefully set up within the last few seconds. A gasping sob shattered the nearly comatose state of his mind; his hand was mere centimeters from the miko's.

"Inu…yasha…"

His eyes snapped back to the living world, focusing on the dead miko, then his gazed turned to the one who was crying her heart out, all for him…

'Kagome…'

The ghastly metal links binding him suddenly snapped, as though they were nothing more than twigs.

His hand drew back and took a step away from Kikyou, and then another, and another, until he was yards away from her. He was still staring at the girl who was half hidden in the forrest.

'Look at what I've done to you…'

She was drowning in heartache, a pained expression on her tear-streaked face. Was it always going to be like this? First his mother was cruelly beaten to death, right in front of his eyes, for birthing a hanyou child; he was the reason for his own mother's untimely demise. Then Kikyou was ensnared by her doubt and died a tragic death, her soul drenched in hatred, believing him to be her cause of passing. And now Kagome, sweet, innocent Kagome, was practically being torn apart inside, becoming scarred beyond healing, and it was all because of him. Was this going to happen to every person who he ever cared about? To every person he loved?

And that's when it finally hit him…

'Hold on…'

'…Loved?'

'Certainly took you long enough to figure it out, idiot!'

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Could you look me in the eye 

And tell me that you're happy now?

Come on, tell it to my face

Or have I been replaced?

Are you happy now?

Are you happy now?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kikyou blinked her eyes opened in confusion, 'Why are we still here?'

And then she saw, Inuyasha was wide awake, his hand was at his side, far away from her. He was again staring that same spot as earlier.

He had come out of her enchantment! But how?! What could have possibly pulled him away from the chains of hell?!

Kikyou followed his fixated stare, and there she was, that_ copy_. That _filthy replica_ of herself! She should have known.

The dead miko's blood boiled in anger as she glared at the sixteen year old girl from five hundred years in the future.

Kikyou then realized that in stepping away from her, Inuyasha had come closer to her rival.

'If he won't go with me to the underworld, then I'll take away what is most precious to him, and make his world a living hell for him; he will wish death upon himself!'

She slowly and silently reached behind her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Would you look me in the eye? 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'H-he isn't gone…he didn't go with her…he's still alive!'

And he was staring strait at her, with a look that she had never seen on him before. Shock, hope, contentment, understanding, peace, and something else, something she could not identify…

She saw one of his ears swivel towards Kikyou, his eyes widened in fear as he quickly turned his gaze towards the priestess.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Could you look me in eye? 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Inuyasha nearly smiled as he watched Kagome's face, Kikyou forgotten at the moment.

She was obviously confused, but grateful nonetheless, relieved, and certainly dumbfounded that he wasn't dead, her tears now gone, though their salty smell still clung to her.

But his amusement was gone in a second, his sensitive ears picked up a sound that he knew all too well…

'Oh shit.'

It was the sound of an arrow being drawn out of a quiver.

He looked to Kikyou, she was expertly knocking an arrow onto her bow, glaring at Kagome with pure hatred.

She took aim.

"Kagome!"

She drew the string back.

"Watch out!"

He didn't know when he had started running towards her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I've had all that I can take 

And I'm about to break

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kikyou carefully aimed her bow; she didn't have enough time left for more than one shot.

She was glad she hadn't used her one special arrow that would have been dangerous to a youkai even if there were no miko energy behind it, for this would be a cause far greater than destroying Naraku: killing the one who had stolen her happiness.

Oh yes, she was very glad that she had not used this one particular arrow, the one arrow that she had dipped in at least twenty different venoms and various other poisons. 

She saw Inuyasha begin to run towards _that girl_, 'Good, maybe it will kill both of them,' she grinned maniacally.

She let the arrow fly, pouring all of her miko energy into it, the aura surrounding the bolt was enormous and nearly blinding with light.

At that same moment, the dead souls within her began to stream out, spiraling up to the stormy heavens above.

She watched in twisted facination as the arrow gained on Inuyasha, the power of it so strong that it started to purify his youki. His silver hair began to change to a midnight black, his dog ears disappeared. He was beginning to slow.

With one final burst of speed, he launched himself completely in front of the arrow, and spun around to face it, his amber eyes were now violet; he was completely human.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Cause I'm happy now 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Now she finally knew who he loved, and it wasn't her.

And the two of them were going to die, the energy surrounding the holy arrow would surely destroy them both, at least her last moments would be ecstatic as she watched the last of her true enemies breathe their last breath.

She began laughing insanely as he caught the arrow below his left shoulder, light exploded as he fell to the ground.

Her body began disintegrating; dust and ash drifting away on the moaning wind.

Nothing more was left of the tragic priestess Kikyou besides her robes, her bow, a quiver of arrows, and a voice filled to the brim with spite and hatred, "I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY WITH YOUR CHOICE, INUYASHA!" 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Kagome watched in horror as the arrow sped towards her, gaining power with each millisecond that passed; there was no way she could have ducked or dodged it in time.

Her horror quadrupled when Inuyasha placed himself directly between the enchanted weapon and herself; his hair was black.

"No! Inuyasha! Don't do it!" she screeched.

But it was too late.

The white energy burst outwards. She saw his silhouetted form drop limply to the ground. The light went straight into her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It pierced above his heart either that or right through it, he couldn't tell and he didn't really care. The pain was nearly unbearable. It burned hundreds of times worse than any ever flame could, it was as if fire had been poured into Inuyasha's blood, ripping though his veins with each heartbeat. 

He felt himself fall, then hit the ground of the forest, causing the arrow that was lodged in his chest to send forth a wave of even more excruciating pain. It seemed as though every nerve in his temporarily human body was screaming in agony.

The arrow may have hit him, but the energy flooded into Kagome. Odd, it didn't feel like miko energy, in fact he didn't even feel it at all; it completely disappeared into her, as though she had absorbed it.

That's when he realized what it was. All of the true miko energy had turned him human; what hit Kagome was the rest of her soul, the part that had stayed in Kikyou when she was resurrected.

Kagome fell to her knees in shock, gasping for air.

'At least she's alive,' he thought, another bolt of pain flashed through his chest; it hurt to breathe.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome began to unsteadily crawl towards him, a pool of red began to puddle around his human form; she saw him close his eyes, "Oh, Kami-sama, no!"

She was next to him, tears rolling down her face, again. How many times could he make her cry in one day? She held one of his blood covered hands in both of hers. Why was there so much? Something wasn't right, it shouldn't have hurt that much either.

 His grip tightened, or at least he thought it did, he wasn't too sure; the only thing he could feel was the pain from that cursed arrow.

"Inuyasha? Please say something!"

She sounded so muffled, so far away, he barely had the strength to open his eyes. Her form was blurry, features unclear; darkness was creeping around the edges of his vision. The feeling of her holding his hand was turning numb; she could feel what little grip he had begin to slacken.

He inhaled, suffering through the sharp pang that ripped through him, "Ka…kagome?" he had to tell her, it didn't matter if she didn't love him back, he just had to tell her.

"Yes?" she didn't dare breathe, waiting for him to continue, though tears ceaselessly streamed down her face.

Darkness was drifting in and out of his thoughts; he closed his eyes, he couldn't stand seeing her like this.

Inuyasha took a painful, shuddering breath, savoring what little of her scent he could smell underneath the reeking stench of his own blood. The wound bled freely; there was so much blood, too much. What did Kikyou do to that blasted arrow?

He was so dizzy, so tired, staying conscious was quickly becoming a struggle that he couldn't win.

"Ka…go…m-me…" his voice was a raspy whisper; the abyssal blackness surrounded him, he couldn't think anymore, "I…I lo-uh..." his voice suddenly died away, his hand became limp. The darkness had claimed him.

"Inuyasha?!"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Are you happy now? 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

AN: Wow, I didn't think I had that in me…This does not mean he's dead! Of course it doesn't mean he's alive either…I haven't decided yet…Please review, I worked really hard on this! But I think I'm going to go back and change a few things…I may continue if it you ask me to, it depends if I can keep up the story line. Tell me what you think! And if it's not too much trouble, could you read my other fic? This is my second one, so I need as much help as I can get! Thanks!


	2. AN

AN: Wow! Oh my gosh! Thank you so much! My fic hasn't been up for more than 24 hours (I posted at 2 AM -_-;;) and I already have twenty reviews!You have no idea how incredibly happy this makes me! I went back and added a bit to the final scene between Inuyasha and Kagome, it has more elaboration, just to let you know. And I will continue, but I want your input. Do you want Inuyasha to die and have Kagome fall into a suicidal depression? How about she does kill herself and their souls meet in the afterlife? Or do you want a happy ending? And if so, more fluff? Any songs that you want me to base the second chapter off of? Tell me! But that doesn't mean that I'll go with what you guys say if I get an idea though…

And, if it's not too much trouble, could you read and review my other fic? It's called 'Twisting Paths of Fate', I'd be even happier! Thank you! And I'm going to be posting a fic based on an event that happened at my friend's 16th birthday party, the guys bet this one guy that he couldn't eat six jalapenos at once and not eat or drink a thing for five minutes, then it was nine Listerine strips after that! Anyways, it'll be called 'The Bet'; can Inuyasha and Miroku really eat anything that could even remotely be considered as food? Kagome and Sango are determined to prove them wrong!  I will replace this AN with the second chapter, so you'll have to check it to see if I changed it, it won't appear on the site! Once again, thank you so much! I love you all so much! ^_^


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